Small Steps

Well, I'm home now... home in Arizona, that is. It feels....surreal, like this whole year has just been a dream and I've now woken up. But I know it's not a dream, because everything and everyone from the year is so close to my heart and I've changed. Many people have been asking, so what's next? I give them a general answer... maybe go to school, work, be a part of church. But I know there is so much more to it than just that. I have a lot in my heart at the moment that I want to do, but at the same time, I'm not exactly sure what I'm to do. But I know God is and will slowly begin to reveal His plans and dreams for my life. I will say this, it's going to take some small steps. Steps that will work on my character and my integrity and my inward battles and weaknesses. This morning I read in 1 Timothy and starting in verse 12 (of the Message Bible) it says "Don't let anyone put you down because you're young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed--keep that dusted off and in use." That is really my heart... that I would start out just by showing others God's love through the words I speak, through the faith I hold, by the love I pour out, and by the way I conduct myself in everything. If I do not understand this concept, then I don't understand the whole point of showing God's love to others. If I have not these things, then I will never progress or move forward. And these are the small steps I'm talking about. If I can stay strong in those areas, then God will bring opportunities for me to do more. Later in the chapter it says, "Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don't be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those you hear you will experience salvation." Wow! I'm just blown away at how simple this is. That if I keep hold of my character and teaching and never sway, then people are going to hear the testimony of Christ. I know it will start out small, but I know God has an even bigger plan that is going to be revealed in bits and pieces at appointed times. I'm preparing for whatever it is. I don't know when it will happen or how, but I must wait. A wise friend of mine said, "It's not about waiting, it's what you do WHILE you're waiting." And so that is what I'll do while I'm waiting...I will 'teach believers with my life', through my words, my faith, my demeanor, and my integrity.

I had an incredible conversation with my roommates sister yesterday that inspired me to write this. We surprisingly have a lot in common as to what is in our hearts. The funny thing is, I hardly even know her, but God spoke some things to her and He revealed some stuff for me. So friends, in saying that, I just want to ask whoever reads this to pray for me. Pray for wisdom as I figure out what to do next. Pray for God's hand and guidance as I make decisions. Pray for motivation and patience as I work it all out. And thank you for being interested in my life and being supportive of me through this whole year!