So I've kind of been working on a song/poem for the past month or so. It kind of just came to me one day and would like to share the lyrics with you...
I See
V1:
I see the hunger in a child
Who's had no food for days
I see the loneliness of a homeless man
Who's got nowhere to stay
I see the tears of a sister
Who lost her brother in battle
I see the bruises on a young girl
Who feels she doesn't matter
Pre-Chorus:
But I hear the One calling out to them
And I know the God who saves
Chorus:
I wonder if they know Him
Has anyone every told them?
I wonder if I should tell them?
There's a God who loves them
More than they could know
Oh God I want to tell them
I wonder...Do they know?
V2:
I see the damage of a mother
Who won't let down the liquor
I see the loss in the wife
Whose husband has gone and left her
I see the pain in an unwanted daughter
Whose future is destroyed
I see the fear in the parents
As their son injects the heroin
Bridge:
Jesus, save this world from destruction
I come to You in desperation
I ask for your salvation in the lives of all your children
Hear me singing, we need restoration
I'm not sure if I want this to be the final product. I feel that it could go in a different direction for the chorus..... let me know if you have any suggestions!
2 comments:
Aussie awesome lyric, Tara!!! I truly mean that...it's beautiful, flows effortlessly, and your content is solid. In the cadence of your words I definitely can hear a cool melody. Do you have one already running in your mind? The only minor thing I might recommend changing would be your title from "I see" to "I wonder" to reflect the hook in your chorus. Typically the chorus hook is usually the catchy part of the song that the listener remembers most. I know there's no hard and fast rule that you have to have your title match your hook, and that's normally up the discretion of the writer. Yet, you did mention you may take the chorus in a different direction, so I'd really be interested to see what you do with it.
Keep honing and crafting this song...I think it has great potential!! Thanks so much for sharing it...I know sharing something you've poured yourself into sometimes can make us feel pretty vulnerable!
Write ON! : )
Thanks so much Romi! You don't know how much I appreciate your encouragement and feedback. Changing the title to "I Wonder" totally makes sense.
I do have a melody with guitar chords that go along with it. I'm just unsure if that is truly what I'm wanting. As of right now, I haven't worked on any other ideas, but might do so soon! Will let you know if anything changes.
And it definitely makes me feel pretty vulnerable... but it's so much easier for me to share online than it is in person, so thank God for blogs! :)
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